Remembering Things I Know

 The past while has been difficult for me - not impossible, not tragic, nothing that isn't manageable.  I know in spite of everything how fortunate I am, but we all have times that are hard or annoying or frustrating and whether or not they are blessed in comparison to some it doesn't make getting through them any easier.

The reality is that for the past couple of years when I go inward rather than calm I find anxiety, rather than joy I find emptiness, rather than wonder I find fear, where there was assurance there is uncertainty.  Not always, but more than I like, more than makes for my norm.  

I go through periods of grace from this, short spurts where the world is bright and I'm excited and motivated and I remember how to be who I've chosen to become.  It keeps escaping me, I can't seem to hold the state I had worked so hard to achieve, and I'm not always sure I can face doing the work again.

The truth is, though, the only way for me to "get my life back" is to decide to take it back.  I am the only one responsible for that, and I am the only one who can make it happen.  There are always circumstances beyond my control.  There are always outside factors which affect me and make it easier or harder...that is just life.  If I want to get my centre back, return to my calm, my quiet, my inner fountain of joy, that's on me.  I have to decide, and then I have to follow through.  It's okay that I'm taking a respite from that responsibility, but if I don't get it back I have only myself to blame.

Relationships are hard work - even our relationships with ourselves and the world around us.  So I'm hoping that I can make a more successful foray into the work of reattaining what I've somehow allowed myself to let go of.  Hopefully it is just a temporary loss, and I know where I end up when I do the work won't be the same, but I owe it to myself, and to all those who do so much to support me and who choose to be in my life and make it so great to get back to the work.  Even if it is only a little at a time.
 

 

Elfworks Studios Wands are now available at the Plant Mystic!

 

Elfworks Studios is extraordinarily pleased to announce that there is now a selection of handcrafted wands for Hedgewitches and Healers available at the Plant Mystic.

 

For those of you who don’t know The Plant Mystic, it is a beautifully curated boutique storefront located at 257 Danforth Ave on the main floor of the Inner Arts Collective. You can learn more about the space at www.plantmystic.com, On July 20^th there is a great way to both check out the space and get engaged with some of its collaborators, as they are holding a Mystic Arts Fair. 

 

The Fair features workshops that are reasonably priced, and cover a wide and intriguing variety of topic areas. Along with the amply spaced workshops which take place in the treatment rooms there is the opportunity to explore the boutique shop space and meet with various readers and seers.

 

I was incredibly impressed with both the space, and its curator, Melanie. This is not your everyday commercial shopping experience, but truly a sacred space carrying carefully chosen and well thought out items to help you create your own sacred spaces and practices.

The website contains hidden treasures of connection and information, and I cannot recommend this space more highly. If you are looking for a brief respite from the chaos of your day, The Plant Mystic offers an energetic haven, as well as an unusual and fascinating selections of objects for you to browse.

Undone

 

Well, it seems I’m back. Over the last couple (or more?) of years I’ve been trying to keep up the digital end, and doing a lot of writing for the business, but none about the business. I’ve got my fingers in so many pies, and been balancing so many plates I’ve forgotten about door number 3. It happens a lot in small businesses – things getting left undone, until something shakes things up.

Even though I’ve dropped a lot of jobs I still have a lot of jobs, and in attempting to keep up with the “new requirements” for running a business (like social media) it adds a lot of work to the day. Scheduling tools help, but you still have to come up with the content. And being a one person show, well, I’m not comfortable with someone else trying to create content to represent, essentially, me. Not to mention I’m very fussy about that content. I prefer (obviously by my spotty record) not to post over posting something I don’t think fits.

It’s all a little like learning a new language, really – but one that changes its verbage every 6 months. Don’t get me wrong – I’m enjoying most of the things I’m doing...It’s been decades since I’ve written so much and I’ve missed it – I’m loving that aspect. Because I’m sticking to my integrity, pretty much everything is something that I do love, something I am passionate about, something that I feel matters.

But life rolls on, and things happen and you suddenly realize you’ve become snowed under with unfinished tasks, and projects you put aside.

For example, I just got some knotting work. Due to several factors, including health related ones, it has been a while since I did any knotting work. And the last piece I did was filled with things new to me, and was quite personal and important to me. So, I went to grab a block to work on and saw that I have a ¾ finished moustache on one of them, a partially finished front from making notes for teaching on another…

My first inclination was to just pull them off and put them aside...but, I stopped for a minute and thought about it. My current project is important but is not a giant time pressure. So, wouldn’t it be a lot smarter to take the 3 hours, finish the moustache, finish the whipstitching on the front and photograph that stage – so that it is ready for it’s next phase when I come back to it – and THEN move on?

Having been exhausted after my last work stint, I also realized that I have 2 other projects in varying stages of being worked on in my studio, and that is on top of the two projects that I had on the list for this week.

All the projects are worth doing. They are all interesting. Some are for money, some are stock, some are for larger projects of greater scope that I am working toward. Obviously the ones with timelines and customers attached take precedence. But it is easy to get distracted and put things aside, until you get through the latest rush job, the latest life crisis, the latest whatever, and then they slip to the edges and get buried. In trying to tidy up to make work space they get cleared away and suddenly they are strangers when you find them again, and it feels like you lost your mojo, or sometimes like you’ve failed (again).

It is easy to leave things undone. It is easy to let them weigh you down and taunt your self-worth, your self-confidence, your belief in what you are doing. As with everything, you just have to find what works for you. Make a partially completed projects book that you can refer to when you have time on your hands so it doesn’t get temporarily forgotten. Make a list, or a whiteboard, or set a reminder in your calendar. Don’t let them lead you to despair. When you are able, take the 3 hours, or 3 days to finish it, or to complete a phase, before you put it away again. Sometimes you just need a break, to see it with fresh eyes for it to come back to life and make your interest or your ideas bloom again.

 

Never give up, never give up that ship!