Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Websites and Personalities

A few days ago I received an email from someone else running a small business. In all likelihood it was generated by an algorithm rather than the person, but regardless...
They run a website design company and wanted to offer me a discount on doing my website. Giving it the benefit of the doubt I answered.

Best of luck with your business and I hope you do well. I'm afraid I have my own gurus and cannot afford to have an outsider do my site (which is in the process of being re-vamped). I'm afraid all the artists I know are in the same boat, but I will keep it in mind if I hear of anyone. Thanks for reaching out. “

It got me to thinking...While I think there are lots of great people out there who do web design, and there are lots of businesses that benefit from their services...and let's face it, who, in running a small business has the time and expertise to design and maintain their own site?

And yet,
There are so many of us who do. Why is that?

Well, for myself it is at least in part a very definite sense of identity. I have gone through friends who became web designers and who offered me a great deal, and I worked with them for short periods. But in the end they were somehow unable how to communicate who I was.

Some of the designs were likely very good commercially. They were slick. But they were not me. I know lots of people who have gone into web design and done great things for others. I love the sites they have created for them, but I don't think they could come up with something that is for me.

Why is it that my website has been a pared down showcase that does very little to attract people to my business, or give them much information for so many years? Because it has suited me, and the business. Not smart, but true. My business has been part-time most of the time, and I have not been able to decide about certain facets of it – Where exactly do I want it to go? What exactly do I want to highlight....

For a very long time I thought I had to settle down and just focus on making one or two kinds of things. I have since realized that that is not me, and it is highly unlikely that I will be doing that.

There are aspects of my business that are not on the website at all, or only mentioned in passing. I certainly don't put any of my wig work or facial hair into the showcase. It is not appropriate for what I am trying to promote, and it is a part of what I do but not what I want to push. I have other avenues to get that work, and I get enough of it in an average year to keep me happy. I love it, but I don't want to do just that.

So keeping control of my website and its (lack of) progress is important to me. I have friends (gurus) who help me immensely – and in fact do most (currently pretty much all) of the technical work (Thank you Travis!) I am working on changing that and learning what it is I really need to know to do that work myself. But it is just another hat to wear that keeps me from making stuff, so I have been reluctant. And that is a huge reason why people hire out. And a great reason to do it if you can.

For many of us it is a raw cost factor. Many of the people I know who run a small business are emphasis on the word small. Generally it is a one person show, and the profit margins are nearly non-existent as it is. Investing in someone else's time and expertise is just not financially feasible.
Some people would love to turn over their sites and free up their time, but they just can't afford it. And if the site has been up and running a long time and offers a lot of information, the cost skyrockets pretty quickly.

Now, it is true that a lot of this has been made much simpler and cheaper – all the DIY website companies that offer templates and widgets and interfaces have made a lot of this a moot point. But when you are running a small business and you essentially are your brand it comes down to choices. Maybe the choices I'm making are technically wrong. This is probably a spot where my choices are asinine and are holding me back. There is certainly a cost not only in time, but in exposure, in reach, in promotability. Regardless, they are my choices.

I am in the process of going through and reviewing choices, and learning new skills, and doing the work to find a balance for my business and my site. I have just given the okay to my guru to mess with my blog, experimentally, to see if he can give it a further reach. I find the process terrifying, but I know that I need to step out of my comfort zone if I want this to work, and want to be able to create enough of a following to allow me to work.

I was talking about all this to a friend recently, about all the time I'm spending learning to photograph my work so that it presents reasonably well, getting Etsy up and running, writing for the site etc. He asked me whether I thought it was worth the time I was spending – the time I was missing in making things – to do all of this rather than hiring out. I'm still not sure the balance is the right one, but for now it is the option I consider the most feasible.



Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Don't Hold Your Breath

It has been a rough week...all the downhill of the rollercoaster. One of those points where I feel like I'm so far behind, ten years behind and trying to catch up?... it is all futile. Wasted effort. I see that I have been given what I've been asking for, been working towards, but it all feels too late. I've wasted it, all those gifts. The economy has changed. The political climate has changed. The world has changed and I missed my opportunities. I can do the things that I want to do, but forget making a living from it. That ship has sailed. And it will still take me 5 or 10 years to get to where I need to be anyway, to make this work. So why bother...
That has been my week. It is still my week. And yet -
Ride it out. Sit with it, don't push it away into a box.
Sit with that feeling of futility, of failure, of hopelessness.
There is a bit of sun out there, go walk in it, even though it is still cold.
Dealing with the inner world of the challenges of running a business – part time or full, of pursuing anything artistic, or creative, or really anything you are passionate about...it is all part and parcel of the reality. It is the part no one ever talks about – though that is beginning to change.
It is the unspoken struggle, the one we don't admit to for fear of …
When you are on the rollercoaster, you have to remember to breathe.  If you hold your breath, you will pass out and miss the view when it finally goes back up.

So here I am, sitting in it, riding it out trying to focus on the sun rather than the snow.
Knowing without believing that it will clear like the snow will melt and the skies will clear. Working hard at holding faith in the memory of the green and the warmth and the growth – inside and out.