Internal Structures

 

Ah! The joys of life....In the early hours of the morning after a second relatively sleepless night, my brain churning through everything that is going on, intellectually I have decided something that I hope I can follow through on. Amidst the chaos of everything else it occurs to me that one of the things my sketchbook and my various notebooks are filled with are ideas for tools. Tools that I need to make so I can make the things I want to make. I know that a big part of my problem is that when I have an idea I find a way to muddle through with what is at hand. My time has always been so limited that when faced with the “make the tool to make the thing” or “make the thing” dilemma, I default to the latter.

Inevitably I am not happy with the results because I rushed it and shortcut the job because I didn't make the tool. There is also a lot of stuff I've never bothered to make because I don't have the “thing”. The making of the tool, for me, will also be part of the process of running how to do the project through my head. Taking the flash of inspiration through at least some of the creation steps mentally. Letting my hands work out what will be required.

Feeling rushed is another aspect of this – knowing that had a set amount of time before I ran out of time to work on it with uninterrupted flow is how it started. I think over the years it has developed into an impatience – a sense that I don't have the time to just do the work. This has been compounded by the inconsistency with which, and limited time that I've been able to give to really building the skills I want to develop. In turn, of course, this results in frustration and dissatisfaction with the work I produce – knowing I should be better, the work should be better – and the more time passes the older I get and the shorter the window for improving those skills.

Photo by Travis Sweet

In trying to work through the failure of a piece as I lay staring at the darkness, the remembrance of some of those sketches of tools I thought it would be good to make began to blossom at the back of my mind. They've been there, in the shadows for the last few weeks, whispering to me. More of them have presented themselves with this project. And suddenly it occurred to me that I should make a commitment to myself to take time over the next 3 months and start to make the tools. Some of them can be made inside (I'll try to keep those for the really cold days) – some will require some time at the forge – some are forging projects in and of themselves. I had wanted to run through a bunch of basics – I still do – to restart my skill building so, perhaps for some of them I can combine the two.

 I'm deciding to go back to the start as I fine tune the work I'm doing setting up spaces – do all the types of work I've shied away from because I didn't have the time to dedicate, and I knew I was rusty. Remember the techniques I learned because I knew I could combine them with things in interesting ways, and take the time to practice. Make, but make for the making. 

Over the years I've lost sight of the way to reach the places I want to get to – I guess in many ways I've mistaken my finger for the moon, as the zen koan goes. Maybe in going back to the beginnings I will remember how to get lost in the work.   If I want to reach the stars, it seems I've just remembered that I have to build the shuttle.

Thoughts About Patron"s regarding the Art/Work Lecture by Cheryl Baxter

Once again, this is a late post.  I wrote it a couple of weeks ago after I had watched the lecture, and then have not gotten to posting.   

For those who have watched the presentation I posted  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twM-g63oOmM) – part of the Art:Work series out of AACLethbridge in Alberta that was posted on youtube - there are several points that really piqued my interest and I'd like to explore. If the link doesn't work you can go to youtube and search Cheryl Baxter Art/Work lecture and it will come up part way down the page.

This is mostly a thought exercise – my brain's way of expanding on things that it wants to ruminate on. I felt that the lecture had a lot to offer in terms of how I think about my art and my business, and to some extent my identity which is all tied up in the other two. Since this blog has become largely about those things I felt that this would be as good a place as any to offer up some of these ideas for the mysterious others who actually read this thing to think about as well.

I felt that the lecture was pretty comprehensive and covered a fair bit of ground in the allotted time. One of the things that struck me was Ms. Baxter's observations and the interpretations that followed. For the most part I felt that what was said was clear and largely correct in my own experience. One of the things I liked best about the presentation was that it made me think. It engaged me, and engaged my brain and caused me to think about my business, my art and myself.

However, I noted a difference of my own opinion when it comes to defining a patron – or perhaps difference is too strong a word. Personally I think there is more than one “class” of patron. That is where the difference in opinion stems from, and it is likely largely due to the types of experiences we have had in dealing with the public. Of course, it may also be that what I feel is a different “class” of patron just carries a different definition for the speaker, or perhaps it was just generalization and broad strokes in the interest of time and information being put forward.

I absolutely agree with the classic definition of a patron in the way in which it was presented. For those of you who have not watched the lecture, it was along the lines of a person who has no (or very few) financial, educational or time confines which might inhibit their participation in support of the arts, and of artists. (Hopefully that is not taking Cheryl Baxter's definition out of context – it is my interpretation of the gist of what the definition that was presented was.)

However, I feel that there is another type of patron – or what I consider to be a patron. I like to think of them as grassroots patrons. People who have some – often many – financial constraints which offer considerable difficulty in participation of support of art and artists, and yet they do it anyway. People who are so engaged by the artist or their work that they save for a piece, or they forgo something else for possession of a piece that speaks to them – or for a piece from a certain individual. These are people who search for opportunities to support individuals in spite of everything in their lives that speak against it. Perhaps patron really isn't the right term for them in any context. 

The connection between patron and patronizing was not lost on me, and I think that Ms. Baxter's mention of the point and the complexity of the relationship between patron and artist is a very important one. So maybe it is my phrasing that needs to be adjusted. But what to call them then? The theatrical term of “angel” springs to mind, certainly. And given my connections to the theatre world it might be appropriate. There are, however, people in my own personal circles who I'm beginning to think of as my own grassroots patrons who I suspect would take great exception to being called an angel. (Yes, Doc, I mean you.)

Definately food for thought.