Seven Months ?

 Well -

It would appear that I've been MIA for months.  A little over seven of them if you are counting.  I have to say, I'm not in a good place and it has not been an easy year.  I've had to shed things - things I love, things that keep me sane - to keep up.  Don't get me wrong.  There has been a lot of good this year too, even if it is hard to see at times, but it definitely has not been easy.

One of the things I had to put on hold (I haven't really shed them I guess, though it certainly feels like it) is writing.   And I've come to understand that writing is something that keeps me sane.  Whether it is this blog, or things for Patreon, or just things for me - those words coming into my head and then getting let out somewhere - on a page or a keyboard - that exchange helps me stay balanced - or as close as I manage to get.  It lets things flow through me rather than being bottled inside me, fermenting.

And I know that is a part of why I'm not in a good place right now - everything has been fermenting, and it feels distinctly like it has all gone off.  There are a lot of reasons for it, and there are a lot of ingredients that have made things turn toxic, but as with any process you can always throw out the bad batch and start again.

So, here I am, briefly back at the keyboard, pulling off the lid of the bad mix, hoping to wash it all clean and start anew.  Of course, the conditions are always changing, and I'm beginning again in a world I need to squint to recognize.  It seems strange that I say that in a post-Trump, sort of post-Covid world....but somehow those years felt more manageable to me than this last one.  (Of course, Trump was only a disheartening news figure for me, not the president of the place I reside, but still.)

I hope your year has been easier than mine, and that your future looks bright.  I'm not sure where I sit, but I'm tending to myself now, and assessing where I'm at.  From the outside it doesn't look like the path has changed, but internally, as ever, everything is different.  Different isn't bad, it's just what it is.  A new perspective on the landscape.  I look forward to being back, and I'm on my way, but I'm not there yet.  Just wanted to check in and let you all know.