Moving Shop

Well, This is something that I thought it was important to put in, but it is certainly late in being written. And yet, it still applies. Perhaps that is why it is so important.

I moved my shop 4 years ago now – closer to 5 at this point. And my shop spaces are still in chaos.

There are certainly a multitude of reasons for this – but the longer it goes on the worse it gets.

My thought was “I'm moving to a bigger space, it will be easy to get it all organized and then I can have a great space and be more efficient.”

Great theory.

Moving a forge space is never an easy task. The weight of the tools involved, and their bulk makes it draining and awkward at best, even when it is exciting. Moving a household is also never an easy task. Now tack on a wig studio, make-up supplies, a jewellery studio and a tin shop.

And immediately after the move, go abroad for 6 weeks and on return straight into a theatre contract.

Now, I know, this sounds like whining. And maybe it is, a bit...not that there is anything at all to whine about – all those events are pretty great.

 But one of the things I want to do here is think about, speculate about, talk about the reasons for the chaotic spaces with the hope of understanding more about my motives (or lack thereof). All in the hopes of making things better.

Let's start with some of the more obvious bits.

A chaotic space can be indicative of inner chaos. Well...that says about all it needs to say, and certainly it is true. Interestingly, I started to write this piece nearly a year ago, and things have been improving in some of my spaces. In part, at least, because I have slowly been able to begin to formulate an idea of what my new life might look like...what I might be able to create now that I am beginning to see what is really happening with my time and my space. Beginning being a very important word. Nearly 5 years in and I'm only beginning to see the patterns and possibilities.

It has also taken this long for me to get a feel for what I want things to be. I had some very lofty ideas, I'm sure, when I was dreaming about all this. Fitting the elements of the imagined life that still work for me into the life I am trying to create is a huge and daunting process, especially since that needs to have some basis in the reality of how this all really works.

There are things I had thought I wanted that are, looking back, unrealistic and ridiculous. They aren't even things I want – they are things I thought I might want, but they didn't hold up to scrutiny. There are things that are now in my line of vision that I hadn't even been able to imagine before. Life is active, not static. Change is something we can count on, and should look forward to – even the hard changes – the ones that feel awful are often the most valuable ones.

Now that I am beginning to get a better idea of things I can start to commit to the ideas. That is another reason for the chaos – lack of commitment to a space, a practice, an idea...Some of that lack of commitment came from a fundamental lack of belief in what was possible. What was deserved, what was allowed – pick your baggage. It all boils down to the same thing. We can't commit to something we don't believe in – not in any way that counts. I wasn't willing to commit the time to the spaces to make things work well...yes, that's right. Self sabotage.

Having the time to use the space and see how it will really function is also in there. How much space do you dedicate to each of the fundamental bits? You can't know that without understanding how you work in a space. Knowing how you work period is a big part of that, but how that translates into any given space is a whole other dimension. Particularly when the space has (or has to have) multiple uses. And so, you have to make the time to work in the space to see how you work in the space and – you see where I'm going here, don't you? This too is getting better.

With time, almost all things are possible. And the only way to get the time is really to make the time. I manage to make time for all the things that I have to – I've always managed that. I can make time for the outside world, but not for myself. So that is another thing that I am working toward changing. But that, too, is a delicate balance.

Once upon a time I'd make time by staying up most of the night to work a job. Or by never taking time off – working (once) an insane stretch of days (something like 45 I think) 18 to 20 hour days with not a day off – each containing multiple jobs (usually about 3 or 4). Guess what? I'm not doing those things. Ever again. I couldn't if I wanted to. True, I was a lot younger then, and a lot more stupid. Oh, and just so you know? I don't recommend it. It was dumb, and stunts like that broke me in more ways than one. I did it because I didn't see any other way. There is always something that you miss if only you look, with an open mind, and ask the right questions.

So now, I need to find other ways to make time. And I am working on new disciplines. One of them is making sure I don't go back to that path where I make crazy stupid choices out of sheer habit. Making sure that what I'm making time for is the things that are important to me, to my new life. I still put too much into the schedule, but I am working on recognizing the price and how to defer the cost – better juggling the time I have to fit in a little of everything...or so I hope.

Having supportive, patient people around you – taking the time to be with them, listen to their perspective and just be in that positive space and out of your own head, that helps immensely. And don't kid yourself – that is important, hugely so. Whether it is taking time to walk through a local garden space and get out of your own head, or giving yourself the time to go to dinner or for a coffee with friends and connect with someone else...that is all a part of it. It lets you step back and get a little perspective on where you are and where you are going. Can't see the forest for the trees is a real thing, and however you manage to step back, it will stop you walking in circles through the woods.

It seems like this has little to do with moving shop, but to me,  it has everything to do with it. Moving shop isn't just about the physical placement of the tools (and when mine is closer to done there will be more on how it ends up getting set up) – it is about how you fit in your space. And how your space fits you. Without that, the rest is a bit moot. It's process. And if the process is all surface, it won't hold.

Change is hard, and change takes practice. It takes commitment. It take dedication and a willingness to step back and look critically at what you are doing and adjust as needed. Whether the adjustment is because you are falling back into old patterns, or whether it is because you haven't quite got it sussed just yet and you need to re-think. It is hard to be flexible, to not berate yourself for not knowing better – not doing better, not seeing that thing you missed. But change is life, life is change. It is all the same skill set, its just in how you apply it.