Lost In Process

 

I'm spending a lot of time now looking at changing how I do business – at least the majority of the Elfworks business. I suspect that is true for everyone. No one really has a choice with the pandemic. It is time for a shift, it would seem.

One of the things I realized, or maybe just made more conscious, was how easy it is to stay isolated as an independent artist. I mean that in a number of contexts. Yes, one of them is the pandemic, I suppose. It is really easy to just keep doing what we do and stretch the time between grocery trips here. That has been great. On that front, I'm loving this whole thing – uninterrupted time here to work, barely even allowing the day to day needs to interrupt it. There is a larger picture though. It is one that I've always been aware of, and it has been the subject of many discussions from greater minds than mine, but it had never really sunk in – or maybe the context of the world has just shifted.

Whether you live rurally or in the middle of the city, it is very easy to just do your thing – I expect that applies to all professions, not just independent artists and the self-employed, but...It is very easy to just work away on your project and get lost in the process. That is one of the best parts about the things I do. It is one of the things I love most.

There comes a time though, when you look up and you have all this stuff that you made and you. No demonstrations to show people how cool the thing you do is. No one to see the stuff and share in its successes or failures. No way to get it outside the boundaries of your cloud of creativity. Just you, your process and your stuff. Depending on what it is you do, eventually there isn't much room for you and your creativity because, well, there is stuff everywhere.

For decades now the internet has been a way of opening that up. People have gotten really good at taking advantage of it, and people who are my age and younger in particular live there quite comfortably. For me, it is a big step and an even bigger learning curve. I've always gotten to choose my venues and my exposures. I've been a reluctant participant on the web, as shown by my spotty record. I've always tried to craft the small presence I put there with some care. It has never been a comfy space for me though.

The internet is an area where I have no expertise, and a field that changes constantly. Generally the funds I have to try to throw at the problem are incredibly limited, and I can't afford the expertise that could help me. The time I can squeak out to learn how to do what I really need is precious – and what I spend on learning about programs I have to give up in making time and admin time. I have been lucky to have some gurus in my circle of friends who have been instrumental in helping me with what I have managed to get into place. (Honestly, in most cases they just did the work when and as they could fit it into their own lives. It was much simpler than them showing me something that I was neither adept at nor interested in.) These gurus also have managed to convey a sense of who I am and how I wanted to represent Elfworks in a way that the D.I.Y. Programs that have been flooding the internet have never done for me.

All this has allowed me to stay safe in my space, and just muddle about making and researching and doing. But the world is shifting...and so am I.

As I examine how to keep my balance as the ground moves, I realize that I should see this as an opportunity. Not as an opportunity to become more adept at digital work, though, I suppose that will be an inevitable part of the result. It has occurred to me that maybe I don't have to start splashing every avenue with a flood of platitudes and soul-less publicity attempts. It has taken me a long time to recognize that I don't have to use the empty shirt version of becoming a presence on the web. I can use this as an opportunity to open up my process and let people into my sphere of work through the window of the internet.

I can still work to craft what I put out for their gaze...(I will have to!) I haven't been very effective at regularity with this blog, though I'm much improved from all historic attempts. It isn't that I don't write much...I have well over a dozen pieces that I just never had the time to publish – (re-craft, edit and put in some photos where applicable) and plenty of other writing to boot. Many of those pieces gave a snapshot in time and I'm not sure I can rework them with any sense. The biggest blocks have been a combination of uncertainty and a reluctance to be more public in my process. I'm coming to terms with that...beginning to believe that there is a way to make my process more inclusive, and that maybe that is something of value. Hopefully it is something of value for both myself and some kind of audience.

So I'm finding ways to make this feel like something that I'm comfortable with, things that I can offer that I believe in and trust that they are worth sharing. Stumbling through my first attempts at instagram and trying to find a comfortable place there...working at sharing more of my thoughts and my progress on facebook, trying to be more forthcoming here. It is hard to stop mid-process and remember to take photographs of stages of production, but it is valuable too...not just for opening up the process but for my own critique (and my own memory!) Writing more is something that benefits me, and I need to choose to share what I hope to be the better pieces with more frequency...here, and on the Patreon page I'm publishing, at a minimum.

The pandemic has forced me to re-examine my process in isolation. I realize that as much as it is a fun place to be lost, it might just be even more rewarding if I extend an invitation to the outside world so we can share the process.